My mother and father were honest but poor fisherman in Alaska. When the tyrannical Shah of Alaska ordered that all male baby boys should be killed, they secretly put me in a basket in a river, where I floated downstream and was raised by a family of badgers. I was taught English by the wise old badger chief, who had spent some time in a Cleveland zoo, until in accordance with the prophecy I was cast out to make my own way in the world. For the first few years I worked as a freelance forklift repair technician until my big break writing children's books about Kantian metaphysics. Using the money thus obtained, plus a scholarship for those listing their ethnicity as "badger", I managed to send myself to Hamilton College, where I live today.

Student

Astronomy, Buddhism, Computer Games, Discordianism, Epistemiology, Fantasy, Gnosticism, History, the Internet, Judaism, Kundalini, Linguistics, Micronationalism, Noetics, Ontology, Poetry, Quantum Physics, Religion, Science, Teuthology, Writing, Xenobiology, Yoga, and...hmmm...Zoroastrianism! Although to be fair, I'm not REALLY interested in Zoroastrianism. Oh, and EZBoard's automatic age script messed up; they don't grasp the concept of mid-year birthdays, and I am actually 18.